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Friday, January 31, 2014

When we look at our nursery, we see you.


As we took "our" 38 week photos last night, I told Jeff I was debating between two ideas for this week's post. A part of me wants to make sure I write another letter to Button, but, as I stood in our nearly-ready nursery last night, I also felt incredibly overwhelmed by the palpable presence of so many people who love us and Button already. Jeff quickly made the decision: this is the post I need to write.

I've shared many pictures of the nursery on this blog, but what I want to share today is not what you see but what Jeff and I see when we look around the room. Because, whether you live next door or a continent away, whether we've ever hugged you in person or not, whether you sent something last week or last month or last year, you're right here with us, wrapping us in love, holding us steady, reminding us to breathe, cheering us on in this tumultuous adventure.


First, I see my husband's hands at work. I know the hours he spent drawing up plans for this closet--hours spent long before we knew Button was actually coming, hours spent in dark moments of grief. I know how he measured rods to make sure they'd fit infant hangers and how he carefully designed cubbies for tiny shoes and soft stuffed animals. His love for his wife and daughter is written in bold strokes across every detail.

Next, I see the generosity and joy of sweet friends and family from near and far--little onesies with hand-painted designs from two of my best friends who live north of the Mason-Dixon line, a sleep 'n' play from my aunt and uncle in Florida, a SleepSack from my cousin in NYC, a matching set of button-themed clothing from a woman I've never met in person but who has supported me for years. There are tiny dresses that my grandmother gave my mother, a legacy that will now pass to a fourth generation of women. And then the baskets! Overflowing with shoes and socks, stuffed animals and soft swaddle blankets, each one coming from a different woman who I will always think of as hugging Button when I wrap her tightly inside.


You know all about J's beautiful artwork on our walls; we can hardly step into the room without seeing her grinning face, dotted with bits of paint, as she effortlessly applies her brush to the walls as if it were a magic wand. When I look at Button's changing table now, though, I also see an overflowing basket of books, a gift from the women of my English department. The titles range from Fluffy Chick to Charlotte's Web, and each one was carefully selected as a favorite of one of the women in that group. So many of the titles speak to the strength of women, to the possibility and potential that our daughter has to be anyone she wants to be--just as the gift-givers themselves are role models of endurance and compassion.


Button's bookshelf is so much more than just a bookshelf, just a resting place for things. It's the home of her "Twilight Turtle" nightlight, a gift from another amazing woman I've only ever hugged through an email or a letter, and her Dory stuffed animal, a perfect nursery-themed present from one of Jeff's best friends back home. There's a squishy whale that I can't look at without feeling the tears well up because I know the meaning behind the goofy, colorful toy, a gift from a woman who herself has endured so much and who understands all that a whale symbolizes for our little girl. There's a plaque with a copy of our baby shower invitation--such a remarkable and overwhelming event I never believed I'd get to experience--and with a picture of that joyful ultrasound when we got to see our perfectly-formed daughter happily kicking up her heels. And the books! From family in Connecticut and friends in Virginia and beyond, they range from classics like Mike Mulligan to new favorites like Shoe-la-la! Much of the collection has come from our wonderful neighbor's father who has only met us once but who has fallen in love with our little Button and taken it upon himself to build her library with colorful and vivacious characters.


It's so simple--just a dresser full of towels and sheets and changing pad covers--but that's not what I see. I see a handmade hoodie towel from a colleague and friend who has encouraged me throughout the last two years, a stack of ducky washcloths generously given by a woman who prays for us daily, a stroller blanket from two of our dear friends in Connecticut who could not be happier we've made it to this point. Every time I change Button's sheets or gently wash her little body in the tub, it will be the hands of these women holding her, wrapping her in warmth and love.

I could go on and on, and I fear I have left out too much already. Some of our favorite things, in fact, are already packed safely in Button's hospital bag, such as the hand-knit blanket from one of the most incredible women I know--a blanket that I cannot wait to tuck around Button to keep her warm as I tell her stories about a friendship born out of pain and heartache but so rich now with joy and hope. But I will stop here for now, hopeful that my words are enough to let you all see Button's nursery through our eyes.

We see you.

We see Button's family.

And we are eternally thankful to be so blessed.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

The Final Countdown (T-19 days!)

Up until last October, 37 weeks was considered a "full term" pregnancy. However, according to the new definition (endorsed by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecology), a "full term" pregnancy--one that has the lowest risks for the baby--occurs between 39 and 40 weeks. (To learn more about why waiting until at least 39 weeks to consider an induction is imperative, you can read this article from the March of Dimes.) So, while the 37-week milestone has perhaps lost a bit of its sparkly shine, we're excited to be here nonetheless!

Here's how things are looking in our house as we await Button's arrival (and, if you can, please set the photos below to the sounds of "The Final Countdown"--which Jeff now sings to Button nightly):


Rosie is making the best of what little lap is left...


However, since the preheated furniture is quickly diminishing in size,
she is getting creative about how she keeps warm.


Guillie is also considering new sleeping arrangements
as she takes the bassinet for a test drive...


And Ozzy is a big advocate of the pack 'n' play for nap time
(as is Guillie).


A sizable Virginia snowstorm resulted in two snow days--
and a chance to take Button's snowsuit for a test drive!


And Jeff seems to be finding me in the kitchen
at all hours of the day and night--
our little girl is making me ravenous as she packs on those final pounds!


This week, I think I've learned that being prepared for Button's arrival has a whole lot less to do with putting together a crib or washing tiny clothes. Instead, the best preparations we can make right now are maintaining our senses of humor and finding ways to revel in each day we've still got as just us two five!




Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Nesting... in my Freezer!

For a couple of years now, I've been making large batches of soups and stews in the slow cooker, then freezing them in small containers for Jeff and I to pull out for lunches down the road. As a result, when I first heard about freezer meals early in this pregnancy, I assumed that's what people were talking about--but I quickly learned my vision was way too narrow!

After consulting several websites, blogs, and friends, I realized that freezer meals can be a lot more than just a casserole or a soup--and that they can actually be really easy to assemble. In our area, there are companies like Let's Dish that can help you with the process, but, with a little research, preparation, and time, it's pretty easy to stock your freezer right from the comfort of your own kitchen. Here's how I did it!

First Steps
  1. Gather the recipes you want to use, making sure you include a variety of types of meals, proteins, etc. (I searched the web, talked to friends, and read blogs.)
  2. Make your shopping list, making sure you include containers for storing what you're going to make and a Sharpie marker. (I included gallon and quart freezer bags, aluminum foil, and aluminum casserole/pie dishes. When you're deciding what sizes of pans to get, consider whether you might want to split some larger casseroles into two or three smaller ones.)

Pre-Cooking Preparation

Once the day came to start making our meals, I did a couple of things before pulling anything out of the fridge:
  1. I cleaned out and reorganized the freezer to create space.
  2. I made a "meat" cutting station and a "veggie" cutting station (so I would have to keep rewashing cutting boards and knives. 
  3. I set up a spot for organizing and labeling all containers.
  4. I recognized that I probably wouldn't make all the meals in a single day, so I thought about a logical order in which to do the preps.

Day 1: No-Cook Preps

The freezer "before"--what a mess!
I decided to start with the easiest meals--the ones where no ingredients needing cooking before being assembled. Those dishes included the following:

Szechuan Steak Stir-Fry

Hearty Beef Stew (slow cooker meal)

Chicken Cacciatore (slow cooker meal)

Cilantro-Lime Chicken with Corn and Black Beans (slow cooker meal)

Thanks to a recipe from a good friend, I also turned 3 lbs of ground meat into 55 seasoned meatballs (frozen in quart ziploc bags that contained 9-12 meatballs each).

The freezer after Day 1--getting there!

Day 2: With a Little Help from My Husband

Knowing I was going to need a little more help on the second day, I prepped several things (chopped vegetables, made a seasoned rub, etc.), then enlisted Jeff's help for an hour or two.

Sloppy Joes (I filled 3, 1-quart ziplocs)
Burrito Pies (3 casseroles, 8x8 inches each)


Chicken Pot Pie (one 9-inch and one Button-sized mini loaf!)


I also made a pork tenderloin with a seasoned rub, and I blanched some Brussels sprouts and froze them in a separate bag to serve with the tenderloin.

An exhausted (but proud) mama-chef at the end of Day 2!

Day 3: Surprise--It's a Snow Day!

After two days of cooking over a long weekend, I was so excited to wake up to a snowstorm this morning! The extra day afforded me the opportunity to turn the 4 pounds of potatoes I had remaining into a batch of mashed potatoes perfect for freezing!

A Few Final Tips

  1. Label all meals with exactly what they are and when they were prepared. (Each of my meals contained the following labels: contents, assembly date, and directions.)
  2. Label all meals with very specific cooking directions (thaw or not, temperature, time, and method for cooking).
  3. Label all meals with approximate number of servings, if applicable. (For example, I'd include the number of chicken breasts in a meal.)


I'm so thrilled that our fridge is now stocked for the months after Button's arrival! While we know our incredibly supportive friends will bring lots of delicious meals our way after she first comes, this way, we're prepared for easy meals well into the early spring months, too.

And this has given me another idea: from now on, when I deliver a meal to a new set of parents or a friend recovering from surgery, I think I'll include a freezer meal or two. They're so easy to put together--and what an added bonus for the recipient!

A fully nested freezer!
A note: I did make modifications to some recipes--please feel free to ask if you have any questions!

Saturday, January 18, 2014

To-Do Lists


I love a to-do list--I always have. The process of moving things out of my head and onto the page (or, in more recent years, the screen) has long been cathartic for me, and the therapeutic pleasure of neatly crossing off completed items gives me a sense of peace at the end of the day. As you can see from the screenshot above, my lists include everything from the everyday mundane (grocery shopping lists, reminders to do the laundry) to work-related tasks (prep English 9 class for Tuesday, grade senior essays) to long-term projects and goals (learn sign language, remember to use FSA account by June 15) to the ubiquitous reminder to "make new to do list" that my friends and family love to laugh at.

In the last eight months, I have been told--over and over again--that all my to do lists will fly out the window when Button arrives in February, that I will be grateful if I can manage brushing my hair and eating something in between nursing sessions, that I will consider it a huge accomplishment to remember to feed the cats or to take something out of the freezer for dinner. Yet, while I recognize the wisdom of those statements, I'm starting to think it's okay that I don't entirely agree with them.

You see, I like to-do lists. They're not a chore to make or a drudgery to accomplish; instead, they help me remember the things I would forget--and they let me choose to forget the things that I don't want to remember. Will the content of my lists change when Button arrives? Absolutely! But will those lists still exist? I hope so. They'll function just as they do now, reminding me what is most important to accomplish in any given day. So "Work out: Walk/Elliptical" may turn into "Take a stroll with Button around the lake" and "Make freezer meals" may become "Figure out dinner" and "Prep background lecture" may morph into "Read Button a story"--and I'm more than okay with all of those changes.

So, while I recognize that I probably won't accomplish everything on my to-do list when Button arrives and while I know that I'll probably have 3-4 tasks per day instead of my usual 12-14, I think I'll keep putting the most important things on that list because it keeps me feeling like there's a sense of order and calm in what I know will be a sea of confusion and chaos.

(But, Baby Button, if you could give mama another four weeks or so to check off a few more things before you arrive, that would be superb!)

Jeff's shadow was unavoidable, so he decided to wave to you this morning!

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Dear Button: Guess How Much Your Daddy Loves You

Dear Button,

I've written a lot in this blog about your daddy, about how he cares for me, about when we got engaged, about our wedding day, about how he's supported me through the last few years in particular. But I haven't told you all the ways in which he loves you already, and I think you should know.

In Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney, Little Nutbrown Hare learns from his father, Big Nutbrown Hare, just how vast a father's love can be. Every time Little Nutbrown Hare tries to come up with a new way to express his love, Big Nutbrown Hare's love extends even further--just like your daddy's love for you does.

So, without further ado...

Baby Button, Your Daddy Loves You So Much That...

He's already practicing swaddling. 
(With Ozzy, who's a very patient victim.)



He's already learning to adjust the Baby Bjorn. 
(With Rosie, who seems far too enamored with the new method of carrying.)



He's regularly reading you bedtime stories.
(And you settle right down when you hear his soothing voice, little girl.)



He thinks about you whenever he leaves me an encouraging note for the day.
(He's very worried about your nutrition--hence the reference to my breastfeeding class.)



He's happily immersed in projects for your bathroom and bedroom.
(And he's really handy, little Button--he's even working on making you homemade wooden blocks!)



He spent his day off packing your tiny clothes (and our larger ones) in hospital-ready bags.
(And he even hand made name tags for each one!)



He tells you how much he loves you every single day,
how much he can't wait to meet you in just five little weeks,
how ready he is for you to turn his world upside down,
and, in doing so,
infuse it with more meaning and sense than he could have ever imagined.




Love,
Your Mama


Saturday, January 4, 2014

Comfort Food at Its Finest: A Roast Chicken Dinner

What a perfect night for a roast chicken dinner! When I woke up this morning, the back deck looked like this:


To be fair, I had already planned the dinner menu a few days ago. Since I'm still off from school, I figured it might be one of the last days for a while that I could just relax and relish cooking for the better part of the afternoon and evening. Jeff and I haven't made a roast chicken in over two years, so the first task was finding a recipe; I finally settled on Pioneer Woman's (in part because the tone of her blog always makes me giggle). Next, I checked out our fridge to see what was left over that I could use up for a side dish, and I quickly spied the challah bread that we had used for our Christmas morning French toast. After a Google search and some recipe browsing, I settled on this Challah Slow Cooker Stuffing--after all, I'd actually be home to start the slow cooker at 3PM! I initially thought the final component would be roasted root vegetables, but then I decided that would be too starchy with the stuffing, so I settled on simple Steamed Green Beans with Lemon. And then, at some point in the afternoon as the stuffing started smelling delicious, I decided to add one more final component: homemade gravy. With all the recipes lined up in my browser, I set off to work!

(Since I pretty much followed these recipes as written, I'm not going to write them out here--if you're interested in trying them out, you can just follow the links above. However, I did note anywhere that I made modifications, additions, or subtractions.)

Stuffing components ready to go!
First up was the stuffing, since it would take 4 1/2 hours in the slow cooker. Assembling all the ingredients took a bit longer than expected, but I had the time. I made a few changes; I added half of a Granny Smith apple (because it was sitting in the fridge), eliminated the marjoram and celery (because I didn't have any), and used all dried herbs (what I had on hand). I started off thinking I would half the recipe (since I had about a half loaf of challah), but it still filled my entire Crock Pot. As the recipe says, I checked it every hour to stir and add chicken stock as necessary--do be careful of adding too much liquid (mine ended up a bit wet).


Since Jeff was home by the time the chicken needed to be prepped, I enlisted his help--and it was well worth it for the entertainment alone! A few modifications here: I decreased the (definitely-needs-to-be-softened) butter to 1/2 cup (unsalted), used 2 1/2 lemons in the "cavity," and roasted it in a baking dish (rather than on a baking pan). Since I had a 5-pound bird, I roasted it for 90 minutes at 425 degrees, then took it out and let it rest for 20 minutes with an aluminum foil cover over it.


Once the chicken had come out and was resting, I started the green beans while Jeff worked on the gravy. I actually decided to use haricots verts (which are a bit thinner and more delicate). Since I wanted them to be a bit al dente, I steamed them for just four minutes. When they were done, I squeezed the juice of a lemon over the cooked haricots verts, added a little salt, and topped them with toasted slivered almonds (that I'd toasted for about two minutes in our toaster oven).


Meanwhile, Jeff was busy using the chicken drippings to make homemade gravy. He added a cup of chicken stock to the roasting dish, scraped up the drippings, and then transferred that liquid to a saucepan. Seperately, I mixed together 1/4 cup of flour with just enough water to make it thick, which Jeff then whisked into the drippings/stock mixture over low heat until it thickened. By then, the chicken was ready for carving.


The final plates looked and smelled absolutely delicious--we couldn't wait to dig in!


Which is exactly what Jeff did!


And the best part? Plenty of leftovers for the weekend! The next project is for me to learn how to use my Crock Pot to make homemade chicken stock with the carcass...

Thursday, January 2, 2014

A Hodge-Podge of Anticipatory Joy


This will be a brief(er) post--just a few fun pictures to share! With just 3 days before I return to school (for just 6 more weeks with my students!), we've been busy. Nesting seems to be the name of the game for both Jeff and me--he's busily at work on Button's bathroom (to be revealed in a post to come), and I spent last night and today washing tiny clothes and adorable towels and sheets. At this morning's 34 week appointment, my wonderful OB discovered that Button has finally gotten the memo and flipped herself to a head-down position, and, in just two weeks, I'll start weekly appointments. Eek!

So, in honor of our vigorous nesting and 34 weeks, here are a few pictures to celebrate our work!

A tiny hat with ears that is a serious contender for her to come home from the hospital wearing!
The approximate current location of her constantly kicking feet
(demonstrated, of course, by her adorable mini Uggs)
One of my dresses from childhood that my mum saved--
I can't wait to put Button in it this summer!
And lest you think that Jeff's only been busy in the bathroom, he also took time tonight to hang our hand-crafted mobile that was designed to match the wall murals. (I found Merle on Etsy and she was a delight to work with from start to finish--you can check out her shop here!)




It's a pretty joyful time around here!