I love being a working mom

I could add a hundred caveats to that title, right? "I love being a working mom if..." or "I love being a working mom when...". Or I could talk about circumstances, like having the luxury of choosing to be a working mom. But I'm going to try to write this post without justifying it. That being said, I will offer one explanatory note before I continue: this post is not against anything or anyone. If anything, coming to this realization--the realization that I love being a working mom--has only been arrived at after wrestling with my guilt that I don't want to be a stay-at-home mom, guilt that my new job fulfills that hole I thought was waiting for a second child. As much as this post is an ode to the working mom, it's also an appreciation of the stay-at-home mom.

And, with that, no more apologies or caveats. Here I am: today--and let me tell you, my days are exhausting. Here's the average weekday schedule:

• 5:00am: Alarm
• 5:35am: Leave home (in workout clothes)
• 6:00am: Arrive at school
• 6:20am: Begin morning workout
• 7:20am: End morning workout, begin getting ready for the day
• 8:00am: Arrive in my office
• 4:45pm: Leave my office
• 5:00pm: Arrive Jeff's work (to pick up Lily)
• 5:30pm: Arrive home for playing, dinner, bath, and bedtime (solo-parent style)
• 8:10pm: Finish putting Lily to bed; return to work-related tasks (email, class preps, etc.)
• 9:30pm: Go to bed myself
• 11:00pm: Jeff arrives home
• 5:00am: Alarm

So, is it easy to be a working mom? Not even close. Do I get frustrated when Lily pees her pants despite repeated reminders, when Jeff and I cross signals and don't get the basic house chores done, when I'm cooking another meal we won't eat together but will only divide in Pyrex containers for assorted lunches and dinners eaten at our desks? Well, wouldn't you?

But here's the pay-off: I spend my days doing something I love, something I believe in, something I genuinely believe will affect the lives of future generations. I interact with phenomenally smart, funny colleagues and students throughout my day, and I come home to a phenomenally smart, funny daughter. I have the incredible luxury of knowing my daughter is happy and thriving when I'm away from her, whether that's from hours spent reading and playing with her dad or from an amazing preschool or from her incredibly invested swimming and dance teachers. 

I love how Lily believes she can be anything. If I were a stay-at-home mom, I think she'd be learning the same lessons, but there's something simply phenomenal about her belief that she will be a vet or a doctor one day. I think that has such a great impact on me because one of the reasons I am where I am today is because my dad believed I'd always be at the administrative level in a school, a fact I mentioned in my interview with the Head of School during my recent job shift. 

As a mom, I believe it's nearly impossible not to be awestruck when your child expresses a desire to be "just like you!" When Lily puts on my tall, yellow rain boots (her feet don't even reach the sole!) or insists on wearing an apron that matches mine to make zucchini muffins, I'm reminded that my time away from her at work has in no way changed her relationship to me. She still wants to run like me, to dress like me, to care for others in the way that I care for her. 

Maybe Lily will go to my school one day. Maybe she'll study to be a vet. Maybe she'll have a daughter of her own and want nothing more than to stay at home with her. Whatever she chooses, all that matters to me is that it brings her great joy--that her mind sparks and her heart swells when she thinks of heading to work each morning.

So, yes, I love being a working mom. I'm good at it--good at balancing the challenges, good at knowing when to shift my attention from one task to another, good at letting the students and families I work with know that they're important--and even better at letting my daughter and my husband know that they are far more important.

In short, being a working mom brings me great joy.