Inching Towards Another Milestone

Written July 24, 2013.

It's been just over 2 weeks since I wrote a Button post, and I'm not quite sure why. Perhaps the trip to England distracted me or perhaps I'm just not as frantic as I was at the outset (though it doesn't feel that way). Either way, here I am, 11 weeks tomorrow, and simultaneously thrilled and terrified for the milestones that lie ahead.

I don't think I've yet let myself truly embrace the idea that I'm pregnant. Even though I had to use my Bella Band to make my shorts fit for church last Sunday, even though I spent much of the time at the movie theatre last night squirming thanks to some terrific gas, even though two good girlfriends--after not seeing me for nearly two weeks--immediately commented on physical changes in my body, it doesn't seem real. As I approach the second trimester and become a little less tired and a little more myself, it seems surreal that there might be a little squirming acrobat doing flips in my tummy, so tiny and small that I can't yet feel them.

The last time we saw Button was at the ultrasound pictured above, at 8 weeks, 5 days. Everything was perfect, and our RE couldn't have been more pleased with the strong heartbeat or right-on-track growth. Jeff begged me to take his words to heart, to believe that all is well, to trust that Button is safely snuggled in for the long haul. And I'm trying to believe all those things--but it remains a challenge.

We approach the next milestone in less than 48 hours: on Friday morning, July 26, we'll go in for our first OB appointment. Perhaps that will make it all more real? I've looked at pictures online of 11 week ultrasounds and know Button should be looking a whole lot less gummi-bear-ish and a whole lot more person-ish. And then next Tuesday will be the first of two major screenings; this one, called the NT scan, will look for the presence of certain characteristics that, in combination with bloodwork, will help determine any potential risks for Trisomy or Down Syndrome. It's hard to believe we may actually make it to that scan--it's been such a mythical milestone for so long.

For today, though, I'll just try to take deep breaths and trust. After all, it's our fourth wedding anniversary tomorrow, and that deserves a bit of celebration on its own, doesn't it?