"I have learned, in whatever situation I am, to be content." (Phil. 4:11b)

As I sat in the waiting room of my RE's office* this morning, I was tempted to do several things. I wanted to indulge in the People magazine on the table next to me, to engage the other women in conversation about their journeys, to sip my coffee, to browse the web via my iPhone. In short, distractions were plentiful, and I was happy to be distracted, as I was awaiting a critical appointment that would determine if we were allowed to proceed with our fertility treatments today.

And then I realized that perhaps my attention needed to be on Someone rather than something. Out came the iPhone and up popped my Bible app (thanks to a good friend in small group who recommended it!). I thought for a moment, and then ran a quick search for an old faithful: Philippians 4. My desire was to find the "anxiety verse." ("Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Phil. 4:6) However, by what can only be God's design, I managed to miss the first section of the chapter and landed in the next part, one titled "God's Provision." For those of you unfamiliar with those verses, in my limited understanding, Paul is thanking the Philippian church for their concern for him. He talks about how he has learned contentment in both "plenty and hunger, abundance and need." As I read Paul's words, I nodded and smiled; like Paul, I "know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound" (Phil. 4:12a). And then the nurse called me in.

Fast forward through bloodwork (it's amazing how much I don't mind needles anymore!) and getting ready for the morning's ultrasound. As I then sat on the table waiting for the doctor, I simply began to pray. I told the Lord how much I don't like praying for contentment in whatever situation I'm in, because it means giving up the firm grip I have on a desire for positive outcomes. I informed Him, in no uncertain terms, that I'd really love a clear ultrasound. I thanked Him for the amazing army of women (and a few stalwart men!) praying for me this morning. Finally, I just asked for contentment, in whatever situation I would be in, in whatever plan He has for me and Jeff. And then the doctor walked in.

My ultrasound was clear, and Jeff and I get to start our injections tonight! This is amazing, joyful news for us after the journey of the last nine months, after two surgeries, two diagnostic tests, innumerable vials of blood taken, five medicated attempts to get my cycle on track, and one failed Clomid** cycle. We have reason to rejoice! But, as I drove the winding back roads to school, I realized that I had only had one prayer to lift, one of thanksgiving for contentment in the situation we are in today. I don't know what tomorrow's plan will bring, but I do know my fervent prayer from here on out:

"In whatever situation I am in, teach my stubborn nature to be content."


* RE: Reproductive Endocrinologist, a fertility specialist who monitors and assists women in getting pregnant.
** Clomid: a drug often prescribed by OBs to help with ovulation in women displaying symptoms of PCOS or other disorders.