Got Love? Button Sure Does!

There are so many things to be thankful for right now that I hardly know where to start (or how to group them under some kind of coherent blog post heading!). As a result, I've decided to focus this week on the ways in which so many of you are already wrapping Button in love, because she's not going to know what to do with this huge extended family--some blood-related but many heart-family--come February!

Sharing with us in the joy of reaching the 28-week milestone

When I say I'm 28 weeks this week, almost every mama responds with, "Oh, you're breathing a sigh of relief!" They're right--28 weeks is when premature babies have developed enough inside the womb that their chances of survival in the outside world are excellent; few long-term effects of premature birth are seen in infants who were introduced to the world at 28 weeks or later. And so, while we want Button to say snug as a bug for another 12 weeks or so, we're in awe of the fact that we've made it to this milestone--and that so many of you are just as excited to celebrate it as we are!

Sharing with us in the delight of new baby items in our home

(Stasy, this one's for you!)

Last week, I mentioned that we had tested out our new baby carrier with a furry occupant--here's proof! (For the record, Ozzy loved it and didn't stop purring the whole time.) Back at 18 weeks, I wondered if I'd ever be excited to bring baby items into our house; now, thanks to your infectious excitement, you all have made it a joyful occurrence that is to be celebrated!

Loving on Button with unexpected surprises

This week, several things arrived in our house from people who love Button already--things that made me squeal with delight and tear up with emotion.

From a friend I've never met--one who lives all the way across the country--a package arrived with a button-themed layette. These are definitely contenders for what Button may come home from the hospital wearing!

From strong and loving women at church came onesies (that apparently were too irresistible to wait until our shower in two weeks!) and a full (second-hand) Pottery Barn Kids ducky bath set, complete with towels, wastebasket, tissue holder, and shower curtain. (There will be photos for the bathroom set later--once I convince Jeff that we really do need to repaint the bathroom itself first!)

From my beloved godmother, an extraordinarily generous and unexpected early shower gift: the Graco Pack N Play that will also serve as our stand-alone bassinet and a mobile changing table. (We're pretty sure pictures will be forthcoming of the cats pre-warming these spaces for Button...)

And, perhaps most incredibly of all, a hand-knit baby blanket--in the perfect colors to match our nursery--from my dear, sweet, amazing friend, Jenn (who blogs over at The Canadian Housewife). With all the heartache she's had in recent months, she still arrived at our house last night (yes, she's visiting this weekend from Canada with her husband!) with this beautiful blanket in hand, so excited to shower Button with love. Jenn, this will always be Button's blankie, and we suspect--just like you and Dan--it will be in our lives forever.

Caring for Button by caring for her mama

There's no way to end this post without mentioning Jeff's care of me--not just in the last six months, but really in the last seven years. This week marked our 5th Engage-a-versary (if you're not sure what that is, you can read last year's post here!), and I was completely overwhelmed--once again--as I reflected on how Jeff cares not just for me but, through caring for me, for our little Button. As we finished our dinner, dressed up for a night out, Jeff quickly read the exhaustion on my face. Without missing a beat, he signed the check, pushed back his chair, and got his jacket. His next words were possibly the romantic ones he could have said to this pregnant mama on a school night: "Shall we go get you a cupcake and let you eat it at home in your PJs with an episode of Modern Family?" Even when I don't know how to care for our daughter--when I'm too exhausted to know I'm tired, too ravenous to know I'm hungry, too self-conscious to consider skipping a workout, he's the one to gently take me by the arm and lead me to nourishment, rest, and renewal. How in awe I am of the fact that he's my partner for this journey!

Dear Button: No matter what, you'll never be alone.

Still struggling with my changing body, I'm trying to see the picture taken on this beautiful fall morning for what it is:
 a proud mama who would do anything to keep her daughter growing safely and happily.

Dear Button,

These words aren't mine, but they're the ones that have been singing through my radio and into my heart for the last few days.

So let your heart, sweetheart, be your compass when you're lost

And you should follow it wherever it may go

When it's all said and done, you can walk instead of run

'Cause no matter what, you'll never be alone.

- Lady Antebellum, "Compass"

One day, I'll tell explain to you the Shakespeare sonnet that your daddy and I had read by your Uncle Ret at our wedding (I've written about it here). That sonnet describes love as a "fixed mark," comparing it to the North Star that guides sailors safely home. For so long, I've thought of the love between your daddy and me as the fixed mark that guides me home, that reminds me that your daddy has my heart, and so my home is where he is. But today, singing "Compass" to you as I drove home from work, I realized that your daddy and I are about to triangulate our navigation system.

As the song's lyrics reminded me, it has been a bumpy road to get here--to get to third trimester and knowing--miraculously--we're just three months from your arrival. And there were plenty of times that I was ready to give up because it was dark, but we didn't because somehow we knew--we just knew--that you were out there, being prepared for us by your heavenly Father, and that promise kept us pressing forward.

And so here we are today, feeling your kicks and wiggles daily, washing tiny footed pajamas for you, testing out the new baby carrier with a furry occupant. And all those things are joyful and wonderful and awe-inspiring, but nothing is more important to me than that you know this: no matter what, you'll never be alone.

Your daddy and I have waited for you through the despair; we have held hands tightly in the moments of fear and rejoiced cautiously in the moments of celebration; we have relied on each other and on our faith to lead us through the darkness. And now, as we realize you really are coming, we know that we are here to ensure you are never alone in the moments of darkness (because, as much as I wish I could promise those won't come, they will). Little Button, we promise to do all we can to guard your heart so that it will be the compass to guide you home.

Because we can't wait to be your home, sweet little girl.

With all my love,
Your mommy

P.S. Just for fun--because this week's photo is so perfect for it--look at how you've grown in just 9 short weeks, little Button! And we still have 13 to go!

Mama's getting crafty!

So, I'm not much of a crafter. In theory, I like the idea, but--aside from the occasional cross stitch--I don't seem to have the time, the talent, or the patience. However, I've been thinking about somehow creating a button-oriented craft for the nursery door for a while. This weekend, while Jeff was away visiting a friend, I had the perfect opportunity to get crafty!

I started with some online searching and discovered this fabulous blog with great instructions about making "button animals" on a canvas. A quick trip to Michael's on Friday evening resulted in a canvas, some ribbon, and an assortment of buttons. (Though I wanted to use buttons I already had, it turned out I didn't have nearly enough blue ones for the project.) On Saturday, I sketched out a whale and a wave on canvas, and then, this morning before church, I did the first layer of painting, using the leftover paint from our nursery walls.

It wasn't much to look at yet, but I was pretty excited all the same, given my general lack of artistic skills. Once I got back from church and armed myself with a hot glue gun, I was ready for the next step: the first layer of buttons.

In retrospect, I wish I hadn't used the lighter blue ones--they were too close to the paint colors. However, the second layer of buttons started to cover them up.

Isn't the eye too cute? Those are actually the only buttons I used from my own collection. Next came the spout:

Because I still didn't feel like the waves were nearly dark enough and I was bothered by the lighter buttons peeking through, I did a few more touch-ups and then added a ribbon. (It's a pretty grosgrain ribbon I found at Michael's, which I doubled over on the ends, secured with hot glue, then nailed into the back of the wooden frame.)

And now it's proudly hanging on Button's door! I love the way it gives a little "sneak peek" into the full nursery decor, and I really love that I'm now inspired to do more crafts with our little girl in a few years!

Learning to Adjust

I'm starting this post with one of my least favorite photos from this week's session. Let me explain why.

At 26 weeks, my body is officially really starting to change. My adoring and supportive husband still swears it just looks like I'm smuggling a melon or wearing a pillow, but I can see the subtle differences that are occurring daily. When I walk on the treadmill in the afternoon, there's more roundness to my cheeks and chin. As my bump expands, even my maternity shirts are starting to slide up over it throughout the day, leading to an unattractive bulge around my waist. When I look in the mirror, I see that my rear is starting to counterbalance my belly a bit more than it has been. Even my hair--in spite of a wonderful stylist who I love--no longer feels like it can put itself in any kind of remotely attractive hairstyle.

If you've read this blog or know me personally, you know that weight and body image have long been struggles for me--and they're struggles I anticipated would rear their ugly heads when I was pregnant one day. If anything, it's only surprising they've taken until now to really consume my thoughts on a daily basis. Because I knew this day would come, I've tried to prepare for it, tried to remind myself that I should be proud--not disappointed--that my body is growing in remarkable ways, tried to remember the long journey to get to this point. But I'm also human. And the human part of me is having a tough time, folks.

So, we're back to the picture at the start of this post--and I'll add the two above (the one on the left is when Jeff told me to wave at Mr. Crab!). They're far from my favorite pictures that Jeff took (actually, if I'm honest, I don't even have a favorite one that he took--I find myself judging every single one with a critical eye), but they're who I really am right now--who I'm trying to learn to embrace being, no matter how hard it is to look in a mirror or at a photo.

Here's what I know: that little girl wiggling in my belly, causing all these changes? She's beautiful. And she's always going to be beautiful and perfect in the eyes of her mommy and daddy, and she needs a mommy who truly believes that she's beautiful, too. If that's not motivation to work past this tough stage, I don't know what could be.

So, for you--my sweet, beautiful, little Button--I will learn to find beauty in this new body.

Operation Nursery: Sailboats and Sea Creatures and Fish--Oh My!

It all started with a little whale. And then came our discovery of the FLOR store, followed by Jeff's beautiful wavy walls. Which means this weekend was time for J--our astonishingly talented and amazingly awesome former student--to work her magic.

First and foremost, it was just fantastic to have J in Virginia with us! We spent Friday night catching up, eating fajitas and pumpkin pie (don't judge--I'm a pregnant lady!), and looking at various images as we started to think about the nursery. Saturday morning, after a big breakfast, Jeff headed to the theatre for a couple hours, I began proofreading comments, and J went to work sketching--and what she actually drew was far more incredible than anything we could have dreamed.

Sketches complete!!

After making me "approve" all the sketches (Seriously?! Did she think I wouldn't?!), J dove into the paint--and first up were the octopus and crab. Thank goodness for J's artist's eye--she convinced me the red was right, and she was definitely spot-on!

After Jeff and J enjoyed a quick picnic lunch on the nursery floor, we were ready to start adding more colors. Next, J mixed up a grey-green to start on the whale and the turtles, but we ended up making some executive color decisions part way through!

Loving our little turtles that will watch over Button as we change her!

Our whale started off green...

But it was too drab, so he changed to blue!

By Sunday, as I cooked for the week down in the kitchen, even Jeff started to get in on the action (as long as he could follow J's excellent directions and techniques)!

I was already completely in love at this point!

Even Guillie approved

As the light started to dim, Jeff ordered me to take a quick nap after a long day. When I woke up a few hours later, well, it might as well have been Christmas morning, because this is what awaited me.

The nursery we have imagined for nearly 2 years is finally a reality. And the little girl kicking in my belly seems to approve! J, your heart is too big for this world--you have given us a gift that we can never repay (not even with the mountains of leftover Halloween candy we stuffed in your backpack!). Our little girl is so, so blessed you are part of our lives.